but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
