Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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