What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
