nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
