I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize