My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
