I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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