So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
