I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
