Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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