Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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