My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The adults are the big ones right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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