At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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