My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
