Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
