I'm really into asian looking animals
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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