i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize