We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
