i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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