FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
