do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
