It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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