I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
