Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
