He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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