I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
