Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
false alarm. still invincible.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
