he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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