remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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