No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
