The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
