why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
