My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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