went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
