My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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