So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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