halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
