I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
