he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
