i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
