If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
