The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
