why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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