I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
