I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
