if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
