no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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