This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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