I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you mean i was at the winter classic?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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