North Korea, Best Korea!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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