Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
