Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
