oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
