I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am midnight drunk by noon
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
