If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
