it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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