I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We had sex on a dog bed..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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