saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize