Christians are straight up FREAKS
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
