using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
