I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize