I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
