I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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