I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
