porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
