Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
