Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
