it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
