Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize